In light of these developments, I demand that the government immediately infuse billions of dollars to us typecasters to help shore up the IT industry. Without it, millions of bad jokes will go unsent; toner cartridges will sit unchanged as managers spiral into fits without their performance charts; and untold myriads of power strips will remain turned off while hapless end users poke desperately at their monitors’ on/off buttons. Gentlemen, we troubleshoot in perilous times!
Hey, don’t blame the geeks on this one. This whole crisis is thanks to banks that issued bad loans to risky customers that couldn’t pay them. A true geek would have saved up their pocket change for Szechuan take-out and a new video card. A true geek would have pointed out the illogic of issuing such bad loans in the first place: loudly and to six decimal places, all the while wearing their coveted “Firefly” t-shirt signed by the cast. A true geek would have said to skip the McMansions and rent a nice apartment full of futons, and then plop an 802.11n router in the living room, ’cause that has the best coverage and you can surf when you’re on the john.
I think I.T. could use an influx of these dunderheads. I’ve worked hard to cultivate an air of marvel and wonder at my work, and watching others fail catastrophically can only help me. Best start studying up on the examples at http://thedailywtf.com
“I think I.T. could use an influx of these dunderheads. I’ve worked hard to cultivate an air of marvel and wonder at my work, and watching others fail catastrophically can only help me.”
Good point, Mike. But wouldn’t there be a blowback danger of the expectations for me being raised? As a practitioner of Dudeism, I’m not sure I’m prepared to handle that. Y’know?
I always temper my successes with lots of hand wringing and technobabble. “Well, sure, I *COULD* get this report to you, but I’m going to need to re-index the temporary tables and make sure that I’m only using left joins on the view, and realign the twinglicker on the server’s flux capacitor. I can have it Tuesday at the earliest.”
My knowledge of economics runs the gamut from capital A to small a. A lifetime’s experience can be summed up as “don’t spend what you don’t have or can’t pay back.” So I am the last person who should be allowed to offer a coherent opinion on the subject of the current financial crisis.
That being said, it sounds like a good time to buy stock in companies that make typewriter ribbons and white-out… 😀
In light of these developments, I demand that the government immediately infuse billions of dollars to us typecasters to help shore up the IT industry. Without it, millions of bad jokes will go unsent; toner cartridges will sit unchanged as managers spiral into fits without their performance charts; and untold myriads of power strips will remain turned off while hapless end users poke desperately at their monitors’ on/off buttons. Gentlemen, we troubleshoot in perilous times!
“No, sir, they’re not cup holders. That’s where you put the ribbon.”
“Yes, ma’am, that’s correct, the ‘enter’ key is *meant* to look like a long arm with a little doohickey at the end.”
“Don’t worry, sir, it’s very easy to wake your typewriter from sleep. Just press any key. Hard.”
“American Typewriter *is* the new Times New Roman, ma’am.”
“Sure, it runs PowerPoint. Just scroll in a transparency instead of paper.”
“Yes, you can export the document to your thumb, but you’re better off using at least one finger too.”
“No, sir, I’m afraid portable document format is the *only* currently supported option.”
Hey, don’t blame the geeks on this one. This whole crisis is thanks to banks that issued bad loans to risky customers that couldn’t pay them. A true geek would have saved up their pocket change for Szechuan take-out and a new video card. A true geek would have pointed out the illogic of issuing such bad loans in the first place: loudly and to six decimal places, all the while wearing their coveted “Firefly” t-shirt signed by the cast. A true geek would have said to skip the McMansions and rent a nice apartment full of futons, and then plop an 802.11n router in the living room, ’cause that has the best coverage and you can surf when you’re on the john.
I think I.T. could use an influx of these dunderheads. I’ve worked hard to cultivate an air of marvel and wonder at my work, and watching others fail catastrophically can only help me. Best start studying up on the examples at http://thedailywtf.com
“I think I.T. could use an influx of these dunderheads. I’ve worked hard to cultivate an air of marvel and wonder at my work, and watching others fail catastrophically can only help me.”
Good point, Mike. But wouldn’t there be a blowback danger of the expectations for me being raised? As a practitioner of Dudeism, I’m not sure I’m prepared to handle that. Y’know?
Hey man, the Geek Abides.
I always temper my successes with lots of hand wringing and technobabble. “Well, sure, I *COULD* get this report to you, but I’m going to need to re-index the temporary tables and make sure that I’m only using left joins on the view, and realign the twinglicker on the server’s flux capacitor. I can have it Tuesday at the earliest.”
I’m lacking any insightful commentary here other than I laughed at the line about pelts.
My knowledge of economics runs the gamut from capital A to small a. A lifetime’s experience can be summed up as “don’t spend what you don’t have or can’t pay back.” So I am the last person who should be allowed to offer a coherent opinion on the subject of the current financial crisis.
That being said, it sounds like a good time to buy stock in companies that make typewriter ribbons and white-out… 😀
Speaking of IT: today’s Toothpaste for Dinner pretty much sums up both my recent experience and my sense of foreboding…